Just Today

Low and slow today.

Massive headache kept me pinned to my armchair for hours.
Had a massive paperback to occupy me while I concentrated on not moving my head.
It wasn't enough.
Ate bagel chips and chocolate comfort food while I read.
It wasn't enough.

Finally broke away from my chair to pickup a prescription - my life on meds.

Wasn't until I got a late afternoon latte that I started to recover.
Glorious caffeine!

It's damn near 6:30 p.m. now, and I'm finally perking up a bit,
While the world starts to slow down for a new week.

I need another day.
_______________________

Today was glorious out - warm with a lovely, cooling breeze.
And I saw it go by from my chair inside.
Unable to stir myself beyond the door.
Another day lost in this life.

"Move yourself!" They cry.  "Go out, mingle, find connections, create your life!"
Like the ebb and flow of water, I have fought to do just that - for decades -
seeking those connections that speak, that spark, that love, that laugh.

Only to discover time after time, after time, that some thing is missing.
Some thing I have lost or never had.
The connections never click into place.
They bump and slide away with a slick speed.

And the surge of paralysis threatens to drown me me again.
It overwhelms possibility.
Potential becomes meaningless.
Simple risk becomes life threatening.
Only survival remains as a goad.

Oh wait!  I've got to water the flowers this evening.