Friday, April 16, 2010

Shall I Run Away?

Too experienced, and too expensive to hire, and far too young to go on Social Security. That’s me. Is that a euphemism or a fact? Companies are “gun shy” with the economy. They only want to move on sure things and/or people, especially those that fit in a box. I’ve been told that after one year, I’m no longer changing my career. No. I’m now re-entering the workforce, as though I’d taken time off to raise kids. I need more skills! I need certification! It’s extremely frustrating.

I’m half-thinking of running away. Let the bank handle the mortgage, and just run away for a little while. By getting out of the area that I’ve lived in for virtually my whole life, I might get a new perspective. I could find out what interests me, or for what and whom I need to be grateful, or I could find out … nothing. I’d much rather think it would be a new beginning.

You see. The fact of the matter is, if I left tomorrow, very few people would really miss me much at all. They live their lives. And I really haven’t. I’ve pretended, and I’ve survived my life so far. I worry about it, and at it. Live it? I think I’d like to, but I honestly find it hard to imagine what it could be like – in a good way. In a bad way, I can come up with way too many scenarios!

In my career search the questions keep coming up: what do you love? What inspires you? What do you want to do? Replace all those “what”s with a “who,” and the answers are the same. There are some folks that I really depend on to keep me going. One, I’ve depended on for years. And bless her heart, she still takes my calls.

I keep thinking…. maybe a change of place, a change of circumstances and a change of people,… and maybe, just maybe, it would kick me into gear. Of course, my head would be coming with me, so I’m not at all sure that’s the right plan! Lol.

No wonder people make themselves sick, and then, die. It takes the matter right out of their hands! I used to live that way. I’m not doing that any more. So now, I’ve got to come up with an alternate plan. Running away is only one.

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