Busting Out All Over!

It literally seems like Nature is busting out all over.  Everything appears to be blooming.  This probably includes some people's allergies, too!  The trees are blossoming in innumerable shades of dark to light greens.  The maples are sporting red blossoms,  the dogwoods and tulip trees are on full display with their Spring flowers.  The daffodils, the hyacinths, the tulips, pansies, etc. are going crazy.  When you drive by plant nurseries, you are assaulted by a riot of color!

All the rhodedendrons are blooming, the weeping (and not weeping) cherry trees are showing off their delicate pinks.  The bushes of bridal wreath are showcasing masses of small white flowers.  Lawns fed appropriately by the many April rains are a deep, fresh green, and the dandelion population of the Northeast is making itself known.  

Not sure if Nature needed our Easter celebrations as a signal, but seemingly overnight, the blossoming exploded.  Throw in the relatively cool temps, the changeable weather, and voila!  Spring!  One of my favorite things is to see the scatterings of tiny flowers on the carpets of green grass.  They flourish with light pinks, purples, yellows, blues and white.  The flowers make the grass look as though someone purposely dusted the lawns with confectioner's sugar - the flowers so tiny and delicate. 

Yes, I sound positively dotty, don't I?  It's just all rather impressive when you take a minute or two, and really look around at all the blossoming going on.  'Course if you're in a city, there's a lot less greenery around to smack you in the face with their sudden flowers.  Have you noticed, though, that the air changes?  It feels softer and gentler.  With the changing light, longer days and gentle breezes, all you want to do is stay outside and wander around - or find the perfect sidewalk cafe and spend the evening there.   After this past winter of record snows, this Spring is very welcome.

There Was A Man

Yes. There was.  And he may be the reason for my long silence.  Tho', in retrospect, he also makes for a good story.  In the common yard area at the north end of my building, I have developed a small garden.  It's small out of necessity because the entire yard (I suspect) was used as the building material dumping ground when they built this place.  You cannot dig more than 2 inches before you are running into old concrete, strange rusted bits of metal, door fixtures and innumerable small rocks.  I discovered this personally whilst trying to make a garden. 

Over the past five years or so, I have dug out the "garbage" and replaced the sand, concrete, etc. with fertilized soil and various plants and flowers.  I now have a small patch of really healthy, dark soil with any number of worms.  (The latter a sign of soil health.)  And, as it's Spring, I've planted it with pansies.  Pansies can withstand the temperature variables of Spring weather, and their flowers are wonderfully colorful.  Recently, I squeezed in a couple of dwarf dahlias, and my daffodils have finally bloomed - so it all looks rather nice.

Well, last week, hearing a voice outside my window, I looked to see who it was.  (I don't get much traffic outside my windows.  I'm lucky.)  There, to my outraged eyes, I saw a strange man casually talking into his phone while simultaneously peeing on my pansies.  Boy, was I pissed!  There's a bunch of grass there, plus several trees - not to mention the side of the building.  Does he choose them? NO!  He chooses my wee garden, and pisses on my pansies! Well!

 I threw open the window and yelled, "WTF are you doing?"  The man ignored me, zipped up and walked away - all the time talking calmly on his cell phone.  He never once looked at me, or possibly even heard me.  Eeeeeee I was vexed.  Once I'd calmed down, and after telling a few folks, and starting to see the funny side - especially the alliteration - I told my sister.  She, who lives and gardens in a large metropolitan city, laughed and said......"Welcome to urban gardening!"   Who knew????

 

Who Is That Woman?

In the pursuit of employment, it is advised that one have a profile on LinkedIn, as it is the premier online connection for millions (if not billions) of people in the work-a-day world.  In addition to having one's professional information profile - which can be a bit of struggle to put together if your strength is being a generalist - it is recommended that one put up a photograph of oneself, too. 

Over the past several months I have enlisted various friends, at various times, to take my picture for this purpose.  They have all been fabulous at taking my picture.  The only problem is that their idea of how I need to look is wildly different, in some cases, than how I would like to look.  Then again, there is that small matter.  Really, it is insignificant.... That small matter in which I really don't see myself all the time, especially compared to what other's see.  So, when a picture is taken, they (all very discriminating people) usually find one or two that they feel shows "me."  The "me" that they know.  And there's the rub.

The "me" that they know, is not the "me" that I know. In fact, it has been rather a shock to see myself the way everyone else sees me.  (And digital high definition definitely takes getting used to! lol)  My image of "me" is quite different than the reality of what they see - as shown in the photos.  Also, I'm beginning to discover, that my image of "me" changes with the age and the personality of the person with whom I am spending time.  I forget me.  So, to see me as others do is rather suprising.

A very kind photographer whom I met at my last job, offered to take my photographs since I was despairing of my friends' results.  Yesterday, I went to visit Robert, and he shot a whole bunch of photos.  He has a marvelous way of making you relax and enjoy yourself - even whilst being immortalized by digital pixels.  The photographs are marvelous.  I just don't recognize the person in them!  That can't be me.  And, if it is me, when did I get that pronounced squint in one eye?????  It's not there today! That woman can't be me, can she?  

Two of the wonderful photos taken yesterday now grace my LinkedIn and Facebook pages.  They don't scare me - much.  So I'm really hoping they won't scare others.   I'm thinking I need to get to know this woman I haven't recognized.  She obviously has some stories I'd like to hear.

Lovely, Lovely Day

Spring can be so lovely.  Today, even though the wind was chilly in the shade, if you found a sheltered spot, you'd find that the April sun is truly so much warmer than the January one.  The sun, the blue sky and the bracing wind was just so beautiful.  

You can also tell that the season's changed by the return of droves of Canadian geese in the parks.  Yes, it was a snowy winter for us.  But one of the forgotten benefits of all that snow, is that the geese are forcibly reminded that they need to migrate for food.  Thus, for a brief time we can have a poop-free park! 

I am also very happy to have discovered that Spring has not ignored my little patch of ground outside my apartment.  For me, my patch of ground I can see outside my windows is "mine."  I've planted bulbs for the past several years and nothing's come up to my great disappointment.  (I suspect the local squirrels.) It's also on the north side of the building so its exposure to the Spring sun is limited.

Well, today, to my joy, I found two skinny shoots just peeking up out of the soil in my small garden, and a couple of shoots underneath the wee tree which was planted last June.  Yay!  Nature works!  I have no idea what's coming up, but I am looking forward to seeing what grows.  Woe betide to anyone or anything that threatens my shoots.  Why?  They're a reassurance to me, that new starts can happen, hopeful work can yield results, and even more, Spring is here and happening!  To borrow a phrase from Carly Simon "It's coming around again."   Lovely day.

Tweaking My Time Manager

Where have I been?  Well, I've actually been here, so-to-speak, on this computer, on these keys pretty solidly for the past week.  I have taken breaks for sleeping, exercising, eating, running errands and occasionally staring out the window!  But never far from here - just far from this blog.  My mind's been running at high speed on many levels.  It's sorting things out so they are most effective - which has been challenging.  Why?  Because none of those "things" are solid, like socks. :)  Each of those things is a thought or concept, and each requires organization rather like a jewelry heist.   Am I?  No.  Sadly, my life is far more pedestrian at the present time.   On the other hand, certainly would be fun to figure out the logistics of a good heist!  Ewan MacGregor would have to be my co-star in the movie.  Hmmmm.

What am I doing?  I am in the throes of electronically branding myself so that I may encourage someone to hire me on a full time basis.  Or even, a part time basis.  This branding of my electronic presence is challenging me to reassess my past and my present to discover my professional diamonds. (Yes, obviously, I have jewels on the brain.  Sigh.)  It's kind of fun.  I've been reminded of things I'd forgotten all about.  And there've been some fun memories to which I've been re-introduced.  Then, I've added them online to various databases. 

'Course the question looms as to whether all this database information allows me any flexibility to either change my goals or brand.  Chameleons (sp?) or people aspiring to change as they grow should probably never fill in a Lindedin Profile or get too heavily into Facebook. Why?  Because the Internet search engines never seem to gracefully dis-remember what you said at one time.  So I am being a bit careful as to what goes on there.  For I am now writing in the world's history book.  The Internet has become an international journal of life, as we know it, on a daily basis.  And I'm finding it very time consuming.

That's why I need to tweak my time manager persona into organizing and controlling these ephemeral online timestreams.  Otherwise, my laundry will not get done, the floor won't be washed, and most importantly, I'll forget to go out and meet people in person for interviews or even lunch! Good lord!  Is that the time???  I'll see you soon.

The Deliciousness of the Sunday New York Times

Yes.  For me, the Sunday New York Times is delicious.  Why?  Well for one, I picked up the great pile of paper this past Sunday with a latte, as a treat.  I haven't picked one up in a couple of months.  Partly cost-savings, but more, laziness.  Sunday mornings I like to take very sloooowwwly.  Dashing off to get the paper doesn't easily fit in there!  Why a paper?  Because I grew up with my parents still getting the local daily paper to read in the evenings.  On Sundays, they'd get the local paper plus, the New York Times.  It was a huge paper with seemingly the whole world inside.  Before the World Wide Web - the New York Times is where we'd find out what was going on 6,000 miles away!  The paper helped to make Sunday mornings special.  We'd have a big breakfast with bacon, eggs, toast, fried tomatoes and sometimes, kidneys.  (English, remember???)  It was all very mellow and very different from the workaday world's bustle. 

Now, like everyone else, I usually get most of my news from the Web or from television.  Honestly, that's all I need to work my days.  I'll check the weather; make sure that no one's planning immediate destruction of me, mine and my neighborhood; find something salacious to think about, or be entertained by; see who's disgraced themselves today in the eyes of our puritanical society; and then check to see what my favorites are up to - be they on Facebook, email, or a sports team, my special charity, etc.  I really like being able to stay in touch with folks within a second if they're online, or a window of maybe 12 hours, if they're not.  I am all for progress.  With the internet I can easily live on the surface of life.  There are times, however, I crave more than the surface of things.  As you can see by my first paragraph, the New York Times does fill a certain nostalgic sensory memory for me.  Sunday morning was family time, generally free from most of the family dynamics that made the rest of the time - well, let's say challenging. 

The biggest benefit then, as now, is the depth of information found within the pages of the New York Times.  It has lots of news sections covering a myriad of interests, so that one can explore other worlds. And, there are usually enough sections so that you can share.   Once you finish reading your favorite, you then pass it on to the next person waiting for it.  We weren't a sports-oriented family, so that section usually came last.   However, there was fierce competition for the front page/news section, Science/Technology, and the Arts and Leisure sections.   You would settle in with a fresh cup of tea or coffee, grab your section of newspaper, and then just sink yourself into the paper for a deeply satisfying read.  And the Sunday New York Times is so big, you can easily take a couple of days to read it fully. 

I've learned a lot from the Sunday New York Times.  I learn a lot daily from the Internet.  But for sheer chewy satisfaction in information gathering, and a pleasurable time spent relaxing away from the constant media bombardment of today's world, I've got the Sunday New York Times.  What's even better - is no one is tracking my reading! lol.  I highly recommend you try it one Sunday - well, if you like to read.  Yes, perhaps the Sunday New York Times is a luxury in today's electronic world, but to me, a very desirable one.

Learning Curves and 92 Year Old Ladies

I have come out of my cave (or been returned to the planet by the aliens) and finally have signed myself up for Facebook.   It's almost overwhelming the number of folks on there!  And a LOT of fun.  Four hours easily disappeared yesterday as I stumbled around the site, took my webcam photo (v. grainy) and, I hope! sent a few messages to a few folks.  Not really getting the ettiquette of the whole thing but am sure that will come.  After seeing my afternoon disappear, I was temporarily buffaloed as to how one's to handle the time commitment involved there!  Plus one's emails, and other websites and still remember to eat! LOL. 

Mind you, it's also very spooky to sign up for a site and have dead friends pop up to "friend" you.  I wonder if the Facebook folks will do anything about people who don't access their page for years.  Maybe have an automatic delete on profiles after 3 years.  Otherwise, there's going to be this sea of information from dead people floating around the Web forever.  There they all are just "waiting" to ambush family and friends, or even, the grand kids.  Well, it's a kind of immortality I suppose.  It's vaguely Twilight Zone-ish - all these personality profiles living on in electronic space.

Then there are the notifications that suddenly pop up on my iTouch, even when it's playing music.  The music fades away so the notification pops up.  Or I'll have put my iTouch in standby mode, and left it on a table across the room only to have it beep at me.  It's creating a whole new world for me!  It's great being in instant touch with someone three thousand miles away.  'Course, I need to be careful before I post on others' walls - the words will probably be there for eternity too! 

Now.  As to those 92 Year Old Ladies.
Last Friday I found that one, a neighbor had just moved out to a convent in Pennsylvania to be cared for by the nuns there.  All she took with her was her bed, TV, nightstand, a lamp and her recliner.  She left everything else behind.  (Yes, I went to have a peek.)  I mean everything - there were photographs, old souvenirs of trips taken, books, letters, clothes, vases - all things that I consider necessary as part of my life.   Talk about paring down your life, she left very happily with the bare necessities.  There's a certain freedom in that isn't there?  No possessions to hold you back.  She was off to wait out the end of her life there.

The other?  That's my stepmother.  On Friday she got married to a gentleman with whom she's shared company for the past four years.  They were both in World War II though on opposite sides.  She served in the Canadian Red Cross and he served in the German Army.  What's striking to me is that my stepmother and, now, father are very enthusiastic about any and all new things.  They love to explore and discover new things.  They have a very youthful attitude towards living even with some physical challenges.  For them both, all things are possible.  Only their physical fraility may hold them back a bit.  It's very inspiring.  I know which 92 year old lady I'd like to be. 

Mother Nature Shrugs, and Japan's In The Way

Well, I had planned to whip off a rant or two here, or throw in some reflections about how the U.S. Postal System is it's own worst enemy, or talk about two ladies I know who are 92 years old - and I may yet.

For now...I am just blown away by the videos and pictures coming out of Japan after the earthquake and tsunami.  Yes, it's happened before in Southeast Asia, but there was almost no video coverage at the time.  We really only saw the heart-rending aftermath. 

Today, people took realtime images of the earthquake's effects whilst it was happening, and watched the actual tsunami as it made its initial incursion into Japan.  (Yes, initial.  Like earthquakes, there can be "after" waves as well.)

We actually see a ship caught in a gigantic ocean whirlpool, we see cars and trucks attempting to drive away from the onrushing water, only to be overtaken, and swallowed.  We see a violently swollen river filled with innumerable cars as they tumble along like toys in the rushing water.   We see enormous fields of floating debris including trees, cars, trucks, broken houses burning as they are pushed along by tsunami waters.  The scale of the devastation is damn near impossible to comprehend.  What's even sadder, is to know - logically - that too tiny to see amongst all the debris and the water - there are people there.  Or at least there were people there.  For those caught in the tsunami's torrent, I hope it was a quick ending. 

Japan has been deeply struck. However, they are an amazingly resilient people.  They managed to come back from the Atomic Bombs that the United States dropped on them in World War II.  Today, they have the technology, the know-how, the history and the resilience to survive if Nature allows them to do so.  My heart goes out to them.  I wish them well. 

Good Morning!

Good Morning, to you.  Yes it is.  After a sleep, I am feeling better.  And I have to laugh a little at myself.  You see I've been reading a book called The Four Insights: Wisdom, Power and Grace of the Earthkeepers by Alberto Villoldo, Ph.D.  In the book he explains that we are the author of our experiences.  Thus, if we are having a difficult day or days or life, he says that indicates that there is some inbalance within us that remains unhealed, for the universe only reflects back to us how we live and think.  He says at one point "When we become peace, serenity and abundance, these will prevail in our lives."  After my last post, you can see that I have a ways to go! lol. 

It may seem like so much "mumbo jumbo" to some.  I feel it is a worthy goal.  Why not believe that we can dream/create a world of peacefulness, joy and abundance by incorporating it into our lives?  It is as good a plan as any, and far less harmful than many currently in vogue.  I prefer to avoid living my life as a victim of circumstance - as so many people have resigned themselves to be.  Far better to believe in one's power to create a world of good, and live in that manner.  And rather than blaming myself for creating noxious circumstances, and suffering, remind myself to look for another way of responding to the circumstances.  Yah - it's getting deep here.  But a worthwhile concept to consider none-the-less. 

I have a third bumper sticker on my car.  It expresses an approach to life to which I aspire.  It says "Whatever you do - is it necessary, truthful and kind?"  An old friend of my parents saw it recently and said, "Oh, I don't want to have to work that hard."  Is it really hard work?  Or is it simply a matter of staying conscious of one's thoughts and actions.  I think it is a choice.  One can simply relax back into the way things "always are" and let themselves be storm-tossed by supposed circumstance - or - one can choose to practice consciousness, and make the world their own.  It takes a certain amount of courage and trust, I imagine.  I'm still working all this out for myself. 

 

Grumble, Grumble, Grumble - Pah!

And, for good measure....Bah Humbug!  Actually I'd say a LOT more a lot more forcibly and "colorfully" but it wouldn't be seemingly.  It's probably because I'm feeling crappy today.  It's just seems that the universe is ignoring all my attempts to act kindly, lovingly and consciously so that it might beam it back showing me a kinder world.  No.  For some reason, lately, people seem to be acting more thoughtlessly than ever.  Maybe they've been infected with "end of the world" fever and therefore, they've decided to not bother with common courtesy and be civilized any longer.  Yes.  Judgment here.  In spades.  I admit it.

Maybe it is simply the overwhelming greediness of the oil companies who keep jacking up our gas prices "because of Omar Quaddaffi" - pah! the oil companies have masses of oil reserves.  They just want to keep making a profit at our expense.  Moreover, our congressional and senate "representatives" in Washington, D.C.  seem to be quite happy letting them do so.  No one with any power is showing any interest in reigning in oil prices within the United States borders.  So who pays?  Those who can least afford it.  Us.  Let's blame the situation in the Middle East.   Why?  It's so much easier than accepting responsibility for looking after ourselves and our livelihoods. 

And the blatant redundancy of government spending is another peeve of mine.  I was shadowed along the Post Road recently by a brand new, huge SUV in spotless white paint and blue letters which announced it was the "POLICE"  and "Homeland Security."  So yes, now we have the NSA, the CIA, the FBI, the DEA, the Immigration Police, the Armed Forces (and all their Reserves), 50 sets of State Police, and then the local municipality police forces - all to protect the masses - from each other and the world.  I'm sure I've missed a lot of agencies of which I am ignorant.  Sadly, we, the citizens, rarely get to see any visible benefit. 

There is so much redundancy in law enforcement agencies that they actually start having pissing matches over who is going to handle what - especially if it is an "exciting" matter.  The sad thing is that all that money spent on all those different agencies would probably be better spent if they were consolidated.  And maybe, just maybe, some extra money would make its way down to the local municipalities who are starved for cash to run their police departments. 

O.k. I'm done for now.  Hopefully a good night's sleep will lull me back into serf-hood where I will happily accept whatever the universe (including those folks that control my taxes, oil prices, food prices, earnings, environment and entertainment) deems acceptable for my consumption.  And like a good citizen, I will let them milk me until there's nothing left.  After all, the birthrate is up, there will be other poor schmucks to milk soon enough.  Aaargh. 

Snow Being

It's one of those odd days today.  I'm itchy in my skin.  Not jumpy, just unable to settle anywhere and concentrate on something.  Anything.  It may be because I have a "to do list" a mile long which basically entails a LOT of thoughtful paperwork without quick resolution.  Can't really say I'm restless, it's just an under-the-skin itchyness running through my nerve endings.  Maybe I am.  Completing the physical tasks I had to do just isn't doing the trick either.  Oy.  So, short of pounding on my standing bag to exhaustion, and disrupting the entire end of my building (not to mention setting back my recovery from my carpal tunnel surgery), I took my twitchy self to a nearby beach for a walk. 

It ended up being more of a non-walk.  It was too bloody cold out in the wind along the water.  The sun had long gone with the clouds building up for another weather-maker tonight and tomorrow.  All the color has been leached out of the landscape.  Everything appears lifeless.  Even the evergreens'  green-ness was lackluster.  Out beyond the seawall, sandwiched between grey water and grey sky, a fishing boat silently moved in large slow circles.  There were no other souls out.  The wind was cruel.  It was raw and biting, cutting away at any exposed surfaces.  My scarf, hat and gloves really didn't seem to make much of a difference at all.  Bitter, bitter air. 

There is still a lot of snow pack around, and near the end of one walkway, there was a drift caught up against the boulders at the turn.  I discovered the snow was perfect for snowball making, or snowman making, for that matter.  So I grabbed huge handfulls and made meself a snowball which then went arcing out over the water only to smash on that steely greyness.  Nope.  Didn't satisfy.  Then, looking at a flat-topped boulder beside me, I wondered what a snowball would look like on there.  Lonely.  So I made another, and another wondering where I was going with this.  They looked kind of cool on the boulder, but were still just snowballs on a rock.  Next, I piled four on top of each other straight up - snow is a cool playdoh when it's the right temperature.  Good start, but still lonely.   Next, three up on each side - the left leaning a bit drunkenly.  I liked it.  Still boring, though.  Then, I curved the right and left columns into the body of the four snow balls, and they ended up looking like long arms reaching down to the rock.  Much better.

There were no longer snowballs on a boulder.  Instead, the snowballs had become this long-armed,  enigmatic being looking out over the water.  It is about a foot and half feet high - brilliantly white against all the greyness surrounding it, and strangely shaped.  The figure looked almost like a children's toy, but all in snow.  It looks wonderfully out-of-place and rather strange.  Oh sure, it will probably wash away in the rain tomorrow.  Or someone will knock it down.  But just for now, or a little while though, my snow being will be a visual puzzle for anyone who walks along the same path.  "Who made that?  Why???" 

As I walked back to my car, I kept turning around to check on its visability.    My snow being stood out for its oddness alone.  It is not expected.  I am delighted with it.  Makes me wonder, too, if any long ago ancient with a sense of mischief ever created a stone figure simply for fun - only to befuddle and confuse our current day archeologists trying to find meaning in it.   The twitchyness is still here within me, but I feel a bit better for making my mark with the snow being, no matter how transient.